The Truth

I think that I still have feelings for The Boy. I have felt this for quite some time. Maybe I'm misinterpreting it? I don't know. But I can tell you that I get insanely jealous thinking about him being with anyone else. Or talking to someone else. Don't let me catch him *flirting* with someone else! I caught an obligatory glance of his Twitter feed and got so bent out of shape that I unfollowed him. It's petty, I know.

Now, I'm not acting on it... technically.

That is to say that we're not in a legitimate, "dating" relationship. However, we are back to being sexually active. Only this time with protection. So. Much. Protection. He is so paralyzed with the fear of having a child that he won't look at me without a condom on. Which is fine because I'm really not ready to broach the topic of having a child with him.

Although, last night he wanted to go there. I put the kibosh on it quick. I just can't. Not with him. Not yet. I'm still not ready.

We are still learning each other in the smallest ways.

He didn't know I was ticklish. I figured that to be the most obvious thing about me but he accidentally found out last night. It got him slapped. Someone had to teach him that you can't live your life tickling people unexpectedly.

The Boy has a love for ice cream that I'm sure I never noticed. Yeah, he asked for an ice cream cake for every celebration, but everybody likes ice cream cake! I mean, he's a personal trainer for goodness sakes! He, of all people, shouldn't be shoveling that stuff down. But he does it at record speed. And isn't the least bit ashamed.

In all the hours that he spent with me, he never broke our conversations to answer his phone. Which if you know anything about our past relationship, is a great achievement. Many conversations have been had about his phone. I've turned blue in the face screaming about his phone. Tears were shed over that phone. All because he needs to feel important. And the sound of his phone ringing gives him that. I think he finally understands that his choice to answer the phone left me feeling unimportant. Maybe he does listen when I talk?

I can't tell you exactly what this is or if it will go anywhere. All I know is that I like things just the way they are. Right now, we're having good fun. We laugh, joke, have lunch, and generally enjoy being in each other's company. Like, this past weekend, we made a bet (I missed his football game and I said it was because he didn't tell me when & where to be). I lost. And I paid up. I tried being a good sport about it, but that's not really in my nature. 8^)

So that's it for now. I guess I'm not as strong as I thought I'd be. I really don't care though. I'm having fun right now and I won't let my worrisome side ruin it.

By the way, if you follow me on Twitter then you'll notice that I follow a lot of children advocacy groups including ones for adoption. But the one currently closest to my heart is Greater Hope for Children. I don't know why I didn't ask you guys before but please follow them. Especially, if you have a good number of followers. The more people that know about the challenges that these organizations face, the greater the chance of them getting the financial and social support they need.

Love and Hugs,

Jen