Reverb 10 - Day 7: Community

Yes, I made the executive decision to pass over Day 6: Make. I made the decision mostly because I love to craft and am always "making" something. I recently finished my sister's hat, scarf, and mitten set and should have my nephew's done by this weekend. Well, I guess I wrote about Day 6 after all.

December 7 – Community Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (Author: Cali Harris)

There is a certain smugness about a young woman with choices. This is most evident in generations X and Y. Our parents fought in wars, marched in streets, and chained themselves to random items so that we could vote, become educated, and live dreams as big as the sky.

Our mothers gave us blocks to expand our mental capacities, dolls to encourage our desire to nurture, and the strength to get up after we had fallen down. They told us that a good man, the right man, would be there when we were ready. They told us that babies could wait.

We are told that we can have any job, see any country, and achieve any level if only we are willing to put in great effort. What they neglected to tell us is that while we can do, see, and be it all, biology hasn’t taken the same stance. They forgot to tell us that even though the world has opened its arms and its minds to the idea of women taking on great and extraordinary challenges our bodies will still betray us.

No one prepared us for the reality that so many women face. Our mothers didn’t warn us that our wombs could be rendered useless. Our mothers are mothers. They didn’t tell us because they didn’t know.

Our mothers are women who have realized the dream of giving life. Even if they struggled or miscarried at one time, they would never have told us because they would not want us to lose hope. They would not want us to doubt ourselves and our abilities. They would not want us to think of the word “except”.

Except would render all of their hard work useless. All of the wars, the marches, the protests would be for naught if we give in to except. Where would we be if women were to believe that they could do anything except the one thing that their bodies were created for?

When you find yourself in a world that you never knew existed – the world of loss and infertility – you start out feeling completely and utterly alone. To discover that there is another in this world that understands the fear of except allows you to believe in yourself and your abilities again. It gives you the courage to reach back to those lessons you learned while playing with blocks and falling down.

If you are blessed enough to find an entire community, then you are me. I was blessed enough to find a world of women who knew the pain, confusion, and sorrow that I was feeling and understood how to help me find comfort. It is a community where we put our arms around those who experience failure or suffering and cheer on those who find success and happiness.

I found strength, love, and hope among the ranks of infertility bloggers. My hope for 2011 is that we all (at least those who are actively trying to conceive) will join the ranks of the Mommy bloggers. Good luck, Ladies! Cheers to 2011 and your success!