My Name is Jenifer and I'm Exhausted

I finished the class with a 99% average. You get two answers wrong on a final and your grade plummets. Awesome.

The good news is that I now have the skills to leave the industry that I'm in. The bad news is that I haven't scheduled my state exam or even collected applications at new places. I'm just full of win right now.

I also decided that it's time to get back in the saddle. And I chose, in my infinite wisdom, online dating. And then, because I'm super smart, I chose Plenty of Fish.

There's this guy and he's really cute and has great arms, a great smile, blonde hair, and blue eyes and I'm smitten. If I could only be sure that I've had my last first date, I'd be a happy girl.

I have all of next week off work and will use it to do awesome stuff like sleep, study, sleep, clean, sleep, see friends, blog, and most importantly, sleep.


But before I go to bed, I owe you a story. There was this lawyer named Chase. My mom loved  him. I'm pretty sure that's why she set us up. Except, I think he's a pompous ass. This is where Mom and I disagree. She thinks that being a pompous ass is just a harmless character trait and that I should accept him as he is. I think being a pompous ass is an awful character trait and he should be an ass with someone else. It's my life, so I win.

Everything about him was awful to me. His hair. His insistence on wearing suits AT ALL TIMES. The way he ordered my dinner. (I've been eating for 28 years, I don't need you to order for me.) The way he just assumed that I would stop working and quit school to have his children and cook his meals. The way he never listened when I spoke and said I didn't make sense. It bothered me the way he was just never right for me. And so after 6 incredibly long weeks, he started hinting at something long-term.

Like a proposal, long-term.

I was devastated.

The idea that I would have to spend the rest of my life being patronized and not listened to frightened me to the high heavens. So, we had the world's most ridiculous fight. (I just didn't want to meet each others' parents during the holiday weekend! Why is that so unreasonable?!)

It's not. Which is why I broke up with him.

And I can't even be sure that he knows I broke up with him. It almost seemed like he didn't believe me. Maybe it was the laughter or the "You can't be serious?" but something tells me that he was taken aback by the fact that I, a lowly non-lawyer, would break up with him, an almighty lawyer.

Yeeeeaaaaahhhh.

Mom thinks I'm crazy and that I should feel lucky to have a lawyer want me in the first place. She says that I have impossible standards and will never find anyone better. And I'm going to prove her wrong even if it kills me.